hot guy

The 10 Hottest Men of All-Time

hot guy

According to my sources, this fellow is definitely hot. But he can’t be considered for this list because we don’t even know his name. After all, the hottest men are already celebrities.

[yeah, we rum bum bum; feeling hot hot hot]
Men’s Health magazine recent published their “100 Hottest Women of All-Time.”  It’s a dubious thing to publish such a list, especially one that includes the phrase “of all-time,” because it’s doubtful that Men’s Health checked the records of (say) the Kickapoo Native Americans to make sure that some Chieftain’s wife didn’t qualify.  But lists are easy to write (you can start by recycling elements from previous lists) and at the end of the year people expect all written material to conform to some sort of list format (e.g. “The top 20 prize hogs found in State Fairs in 2011”).

Moreover, lists are a great way to garner free advertising for your soon-to-be-out-of-business paper magazine.  Why?  Because lists generate controversy.  No one will ever agree with all the choices and everyone feels free to rank the elements on their own.  Endless debate means media coverage!  And it works.

How do you think I heard of their article?

Because it turns out that Jennifer Aniston topped the list of hottest women of all-time.  I’m not making that up.  I’m sure she is a nice person and all, but I’m pretty certain that #1 Jennifer Aniston has never really helped many teenage boys make it through puberty.  Unlike, oh, say: #58 Rita Hayworth (in the 40s), #30 Jayne Mansfield (in the 50s), #2 Raquel Welch (in the 60s), #31 Farrah Fawcett (in the 70s), #77 Kelly LeBrock (in the 80s), #8 Pamela Anderson (in the 90s) or #10 Angelina Jolie (in the 00s).  In fact, Brad Pitt actually made the choice of dumping Aniston for Jolie… which pretty much tells you he wasn’t consulted by Men’s Health when they compiled their list.

But I feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston.  She didn’t ask to be placed at the top of the list, but Continue Reading